TL;DR: We spend so much time looking for what’s next that we forget to notice what’s right in front of us. What if the biggest upgrade you could make to your life isn’t buying something new, but seeing the world differently? The places that stay with us aren’t always the fanciest or the most expensive. They’re the ones that make us feel something. Maybe aesthetic living isn’t about having better taste. Maybe it’s about paying closer attention.
I wasn’t looking for a life philosophy. I was looking for a drink.
Business trip. Late flight. The kind of tired that settles into your shoulders and refuses to leave. I sat down at the hotel bar, ordered something strong, and did everything in my power to radiate please do not speak to me energy.
The guy next to me did not get the memo.
We ended up talking. I don’t remember what about. Something forgettable that somehow became not. Gradually, the conversation deepened, and we laughed and bonded over living life on the go. Spending more nights in hotels than in our homes. After last call and shutting down the bar, we exchanged numbers, flew back to our lives in different directions, and that should’ve been the end of it.
A couple of days later, a text from him popped up on my phone.
One word.
“Red.”
No context. No explanation. Then another message: “Find something beautiful that’s red. Send a photo.”
So I did. I don’t even remember what I found that first day. Probably a door, knowing me. The next day, he sent one back. “Flow.” Same deal. Find something beautiful that captures that word. One photo. That’s it.
It became our thing. A few fun flirts and photos. Not a deep philosophical exercise. Just a chill, low-stakes game to stay in touch with someone you met on the road.
He’d send a word. I’d hunt.
I’d send a word. He’d hunt.
We’d share what we found.
At first, it was just fun.
But then something shifted.
I started looking differently. Not just dashing through the world between emails and airport gates and meetings — but actually scanning for beauty. Studying it. I’d notice the way light hit a stairwell. The texture of a brick wall I’d walked past a hundred times. A crack in the sidewalk where a single flower had pushed through. Stuff I would’ve blown right past before, earbuds in, face in my phone, on autopilot to wherever I was going next.
Some days I’d get to the evening and feel genuinely stressed because I hadn’t found the thing yet. Which was slightly silly. But also? Revealing. It meant I’d started to care about seeing. About noticing. About being present in the spaces I was moving through instead of sleepwalking past them.
And then there was his side. Seeing what he captured. Getting to know someone not through small talk or emoji’s, but through their lens – what they found beautiful in a given day. A rusted hinge. A shadow on a wall. A stranger’s hands. I saw the world through his eyes, and it was a world I hadn’t been paying enough attention to through my own.
I can’t give you the rom-com ending on this one. At the height of Covid, the texts stopped. He ghosted. Maybe he met someone. Maybe he moved on. I hope he didn’t get sick. I’ll never know.
But here’s the thing: he gave me a gift. A way of seeing that never went away. Somewhere in those micro moments, those one-word prompts, those tiny daily acts of paying attention, I discovered something I’d been circling my entire career as a hotel designer without ever putting words to it.
I learned the true value of beauty.
What is aesthetic living?
It’s not what most people think.
It’s not just a #hashtag. It’s not about luxury. Not about having the “right” taste or the biggest budget or the most followers. It’s not about being showy or greedy or keeping up with anyone else’s version of beautiful.
Aesthetic living is a point of view. It’s choosing to pause and pay attention. To the flower on the sidewalk, the sunset you almost missed, the way light pours through a window at 4pm. If you’re a design dork like me, it might be a perfectly executed tile transition detail. (I’m serious. I have stopped dead in my tracks over grout lines. No shame.)
It’s pulling your face away from your phone and your earbuds out of your ears long enough to actually see where you are. It’s not rushing past in a blur. Not tuning out. It’s being intentional about appreciating the world around you — and recognizing that so much of that world was shaped by people who poured their hearts into making something worth noticing.
A chef who spent years perfecting a dish.
A designer who agonized over the right shade of green.
An artist who painted a ceiling inch by inch
A team cleaning a lobby until midnight before opening day.
These people gave us something.
And the least we can do, the most generous thing we can do, is slow down long enough to see it.
What Happens When We Truly See
Someone walks into a well-designed space: a hotel lobby, a restaurant, a bar at golden hour, and their body changes before their brain catches up.
Shoulders drop.
Breath deepens.
Phones turn face-down on the table.
Or they light up. They laugh louder. They lean across the table. They order another round. They stay for dessert when they weren’t going to. They take a photo — not for Instagram, but because something in them wants to remember how it felt.
It’s subtle. And it’s powerful.
There’s actually science around the field of neuroaesthetics and the positive impact it has on your body.
That shift? It’s not about luxury. It’s about being moved.
And I realized that my role as a designer wasn’t just designing beautiful spaces.
I was designing moments where people could feel more alive.
Read my take on neuroaesthetics and the surprising ways our environments affect us.
This is the whole reason why I created Roam & Reside.
Roam & Reside, this brand I’ve built, is really just an extension of that game at the hotel bar. I’m still looking. Still capturing. Still sharing what I find beautiful. I just share my photos with you now.
Wanna Play?
I’m still playing that bar game, by the way.
Only now, I want you in on it.
I turned it into 30 Days of Aesthetic Living: a free, fun game designed to get you looking at your everyday world a little differently.
One word. One day. One photograph.
I give you a word. You go live your life and keep an eye out for your version of it.
When you see it, take a photo. Add it to your collection. Tomorrow, I’ll give you another.
And somewhere along the way, you may start noticing things you weren’t even looking for.
That’s when it gets good.
Wanna skip ahead and dive right in? Click below.
Aesthetic Living: Roam.
Life is short. Your travel time is precious.
You could drop a ton of money at a generic chain restaurant in any city on earth and walk away with nothing but a receipt. Or you could find the local chef who’s pouring her soul into a menu. The artisan who hand-makes everything. The boutique hotel where a designer spent months getting the wallpaper right. The restaurant inside a 115-year-old church where the whole ceiling is a work of art (you can check out that post here).
When you choose where to eat, where to stay, where to spend your time and money with intention — you’re not just having a better experience. You’re supporting the people who made it possible. You’re choosing craft over convenience. You’re voting with your feet and your fork for a world that values beauty and the humans who create it.
That’s what my city guides and destination posts are about. I’m not just listing pretty places. I’m sharing and showcasing them to amplify their presence. I’m telling you the stories behind them: the designers, the artists, the makers, the midnight-lobby-cleaners, so you can discover and experience that joy for yourself, and so their work gets the audience it deserves.
So get out there. Find the unique. Support the local. Maximize your moments. Life is too short for forgettable meals in forgettable rooms.
Aesthetic Living: Reside.
And then there’s home. That matters just as much. Maybe even more.
Your home is your sanctuary. It’s the place where you finally get to drop the act you’ve been performing all day — the work version, the polite version, the holding-it-together version. You walk through that door, kick off your shoes, and exhale.
This is your happy place. Whether you’re bold and colorful, or soft and neutral. Or somewhere in between. This is where you get to showcase your treasures, surround yourself with what you love, and just… be you.
But here’s the thing: so many people struggle with this. They know what they love when they see it in a hotel or a restaurant, but they can’t figure out how to make their own home feel that way. They end up with a hodgepodge of things that don’t quite go together, or a space that looks “fine” but doesn’t feel like them. They want a home they’re proud of, one that looks amazing but also feels deeply personal, but they don’t know where to start.
That’s where I come in. As a hotel designer, I’ve spent my career creating spaces that make people feel something the moment they walk through the door. And now I help design-lovers do the same thing at home. I’ve built tools and guides to help you discover your true personal style. It’s not about what’s trending, not what some influencer told you to buy, but what genuinely lights you up. What expresses your vibe. What makes your heart do a little thing when you see it.
Because here’s what I believe: the last thing your eyes see before you fall asleep and the first thing they see when you wake up should be a room that you love. A room that feels like yours. A room that’s beautiful, on your terms.
Frequently Asked Questions About Aesthetic Living
What does aesthetic living actually mean?
If you ask Instagram, aesthetic living is perfectly curated shelves, linen everything, and a kitchen that somehow never has dishes in the sink. I disagree.
To me, aesthetic living has very little to do with perfection and everything to do with paying attention. It’s noticing the way late afternoon light pours across your living room floor, lingering in a boutique hotel because someone absolutely nailed the lighting, or taking the long way home because there’s a street lined with beautiful old houses. It’s choosing experiences, places, and objects that make you feel something instead of simply checking another item off your to-do list. Beauty isn’t the goal; being awake enough to notice it is.
Aesthetic living is paying attention to beauty instead of speeding past it.
What does it mean to live an aesthetic life?
Living an aesthetic life doesn’t mean chasing perfection. It means paying attention.
An aesthetic life isn’t about having the most stylish home, the biggest travel budget, or the trendiest wardrobe. It’s about surrounding yourself with experiences, spaces, and objects that make you feel something.
At its core, living an aesthetic life is an act of gratitude. It’s recognizing that beauty doesn’t happen by accident. Someone imagined it, built it, planted it, painted it, plated it, or polished it. When we slow down long enough to notice, we honor the people behind those moments and enrich our own lives in the process.
That’s why I believe aesthetic living isn’t really about style at all.
It’s about moving through the world with your eyes open, your curiosity switched on, and your phone in your pocket just long enough to let something beautiful surprise you.
Is aesthetic living just about decorating your home?
Not even close. Your home is certainly part of it, but aesthetic living follows you everywhere.
It’s the neighborhood café where the owner remembers your order, the restaurant where the chef obsesses over every plate, the bookstore with creaky wood floors, or the hotel lobby that somehow convinces you to order one more cocktail before heading upstairs. It’s about how you move through the world, not just how you decorate one corner of it. Your house is simply where the story continues after you get home.
What is neuroaesthetics, and what does it have to do with aesthetic living?
Neuroaesthetics is an emerging field of neuroscience that studies how beauty affects the brain. Researchers are discovering that beautiful environments, art, nature, music, architecture, and thoughtfully designed spaces can reduce stress, activate the brain’s reward centers, and even improve our sense of well-being. It’s one of the reasons a beautiful hotel lobby, a thoughtfully designed home, or a breathtaking landscape can literally change how you feel.
Do I need a lot of money to live an aesthetic lifestyle?
Absolutely not. Aesthetic living isn’t about buying beautiful things. It’s about becoming the kind of person who notices beauty wherever it already exists.
Some of the most beautiful moments in life are completely free. Watching a thunderstorm roll in from your front porch, stumbling across a tiny hidden bookstore, noticing a flower growing through a crack in the sidewalk, or catching golden hour as it spills across an old brick building doesn’t require a luxury budget.
How do I make my home feel more aesthetic?
First, ask yourself how you want your home to feel. Calm? Cozy? Sophisticated? Creative? Once you know that, the decisions become much easier. Layer in lighting that flatters instead of fluoresces. Display artwork that actually means something to you. Bring home objects from your travels instead of buying generic décor because someone on TikTok said you should. The most beautiful homes aren’t the ones that look expensive; they’re the ones that feel deeply personal.
If you need some help getting started on creating your space, you should check out my Interior Design Starter Kit here.
How can I practice aesthetic living every day?
One of my favorite habits is also the simplest. Give yourself one tiny assignment every day: find something beautiful.
Maybe it’s the way sunlight hits a staircase. Maybe it’s an incredible cocktail served in the perfect glass. Maybe it’s your dog asleep in a patch of afternoon sun like they’re starring in a Ralph Lauren ad. The point isn’t what you find. The point is that you started looking. Once you train yourself to notice beauty, you’ll be amazed at how much of it was waiting for you all along.
Why does aesthetic living matter?
Because life has a sneaky way of turning into one never-ending checklist if we’re not careful.
We rush from meeting to meeting, airport to airport, email to email, and before we know it, we’ve stopped noticing the world around us. Aesthetic living is a quiet rebellion against that kind of autopilot. It’s choosing to appreciate the people who made something beautiful—the chef perfecting a recipe, the designer agonizing over the right shade of green, the artist painting a mural, the housekeeper fluffing the pillows before you arrive. Beauty doesn’t happen by accident. Someone made it. Slowing down long enough to notice is one of the simplest ways we can honor their work.
Where Are Some of My Favorite Aesthetic Places and Spaces?
I’m so glad you asked! I’ve rounded up my favorite corners of the earth and put them into a series of Aesthetic Travel Guides. Check them out if you’re in any of these cities so you can make the most of your travels. And check back in, because I’m adding more as I go!
How to Create an Aesthetic Home
The last thing you see at night and the first thing in the morning should be a room you love. Here are some posts that can help you create your dream space.
Wondering about the best way to find your style? Interior design style quiz or Pinterest? I put both to the test to see what’s most worth your time.
→ How to Find Your Interior Design Style: stop guessing and figure out what actually lights you up.
→ How to Decorate Like an Interior Designer: the steps most people skip.
→ Planning a Room Makeover: how to turn all that inspiration into a room you actually live in.
An Invitation to Live More Aesthetically
If you’ve ever lingered a little too long in a hotel lobby because something about the light just got you. If you’ve ever photographed a restaurant bathroom because the tile was that good. If you’ve ever stopped mid-sidewalk because a door was the perfect shade of black and you needed a moment with it.
That instinct? Don’t ignore it. Feed it. Let it guide how you travel, how you decorate, how you move through your day.
That’s aesthetic living. It doesn’t require a big budget or a design degree. It just requires you to look up. To slow down. To notice. And to be grateful for the people who made something beautiful for the rest of us to find.
I’m still playing that bar game, by the way. Every single day.
I just send the photos to you now.
